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Transcript · SmartLess

Sandra Bullock | SmartLess

55:38English, auto-generated captions11,629 words · 47 min read
In short · Summary by AI

SmartLess hosts Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett sit down with Sandra Bullock to talk about Practical Magic 2, their friendship, and her life. A major part of the conversation covers her years caring for her partner Bryan Randall during his ALS illness, the isolation of that period, and how it shaped her and her children. The episode ends on a warm, lighthearted note.

Transcript

Peanut Butter Sandwich Opening

0:06Okay. So, the secret to a peanut [music] butter sandwich, I don't do the jelly. Don't even start. I get the knife and I stir up the peanut butter. And then on the bread, [music] you have to wipe it all the way to the edge. [music] And you put the other piece of bread on. You slice it right down the middle.
0:23Don't do corners. Don't do fours. And then you wash it down with a nice cold [music] glass. Smartless. Welcome to smartless smartless. [music] Smartless

Jason's Delayed Flight Story

0:43smart less. [snorts] >> Um Jason, I just got off the phone with Amanda. I can't believe you were in the airport for 18 hours. Is that right? >> Yeah. [sighs and gasps] It wasn't It wasn't fantastic. There was a unbelievable. >> Well, before you start, I can't believe you got off the phone with Amanda.
1:01Okay, go ahead, Jason. >> No, [laughter] that was that was 19 hours. The plane plane flight to Iceland was just 18. >> Wait, wait, Jason, what happened? >> Cuz it was delayed. Is that >> uh just just a delay? Yeah. A bunch of weather in in New York and that meant we couldn't take off from LA and then there was a layover once we got to New York and you these are all No one's complaining, you know.
1:23We're out here. We're living our dream here in Iceland. >> And Iceland. You know, >> I can't believe you're there. What time is it >> right now? It is 4:30 in the afternoon. >> Are you exhausted? >> Yes. Yes. [laughter] But you know, I've got um just a beak full of schnits. I'm ready to go. >> Yeah. Yeah.
1:42I got piped into some great Icelandic stuff. >> Oh, you've been doing so great all these years. >> I just Everything's white here. So, I was just like, "Give me a bag of that." Um >> You can't [laughter] You can't tell what's what. Yeah. No, I'm up for it. I'm into it. Um, >> well, you know, >> I'm glad you made it.
2:02>> Yeah. How are you guys today? Will Will Will has not run out of gum? This is great news. [laughter] >> I'm trying to keep it quiet. I'm trying to keep it quiet. >> You know, they've got lozenes and I think some cream. They got nicotine cream. >> Is that Is that nicotine gum for real? >> Of course it is.
2:17>> No, I've got the pouch in and then I use gum cuz I need to kind of cut it with the gum. >> Sure. >> Wait a second. So, you have a pouch. You have a pouch in your mouth and and gum. >> And regular gum. Regular gum. >> A regular gum. >> That kind of cuts it for me. >> What do you mean cuts it like makes it less less powerful?

Milk, Gum, and Pull-Ups Banter

2:34>> Yeah. And just like that helps with the taste of of cuz you get a little bit of like some of that thing that I don't really enjoy. >> I'll do I'll do a glass of water and a glass of apple juice and I cut the juice with the water >> cuz sometimes the apple juice is too strong for you son. >> It is.
2:48Yeah. And and but do you find that if you drink both that your pull-ups get full early? Like do you have to like [laughter] you know >> my my adult pull-ups? >> Yeah. >> Oh my god, Sean. I just I just love him so much. Really? He is a He's a He's a teddy bear with a heart. >> He drinks full milk, right?
3:07It's always It's >> No, no, it's it's it's it's usually skimm milk. >> Oh, >> I'll drink whole milk, but it's usually skim. Yeah. >> What's the difference between skimm milk and 2%? Well, the skim is a The skim tastes a little bit the the whole milk smells a little funny. It's It's in it tastes um a little too thick for me.
3:27Sure. >> But I like a milkshake >> with whole milkshake. >> No, I know that. Um but what about uh but 2% versus skim? Do we know? Is it just a just different name for the same thing? >> Well, it's less fat. >> It's like half. It's I think it's like a step between, isn't it? >> It's less fat. >> Well, which is less?
3:43>> The skim milk is zero fat. >> Oh, really? >> Right. Yeah. >> Yeah. 2% leaves still leaves a little bit on top. Has not been fully skimmed. >> I think that's right. >> This is correct. I think that's right. Yeah. >> Listener, are you still with us? Yeah. [laughter] >> Also never understood why. I'd also never like 1% 2%.
3:58Is it really that much different? Like one the difference between one and 2% isn't that much in life. >> Well, two is double. >> It's the thickness of the cheesecloth. What what you drag across the top of the uh of the the tin pale. Would you be upset if I uh had t-shirts made that say I like milkshakes?
4:17>> No, I would I would I would wear one. Okay. >> I would totally wear one. >> And on on back, can I print um skim me? Um [laughter] >> go ahead and skim me. >> Hey, I went to the Hollywood Bowl two nights ago. It was gorgeous. >> Hang on. Well, Sean's got a bit. Hold on. No bit other than I I was there literally two nights ago and I was listening to Bizay and like Carmen and stuff and I looked up at the stage.
4:39I'm like, "We're going to be there October 17th." And I was like, it didn't feel that scary. Like, in in my mind, it's scary, but then when I was there, I was like, "Okay, it's a little less scary." >> But did you did you turn around and look at the crowd behind you, which would be our perspective? That's where it gets [laughter] scary.
4:58>> I know. My stomach dropped a little bit then, but um but yeah, >> I hope I hope there's more than just friends and family sitting in that big huge uh bowl. >> I know. You hear that? listener, get yourself a ticket and just help us out a little bit cuz it's going to be it's going to be scary and it'd be less scary if there's friends there.
5:14>> October 17th. >> Um guys, right, you're going to be less scary today because it's somebody we all know. My the >> Sorry, wait, just remind me so I don't miss it. When when do I need to be at the bowl? What day is that? >> That'll be October 17th. >> October. >> October 17th. >> That's a Saturday at the Hollywood Bowl.
5:29It's a Saturday. So if you're coming from out of town that you have plenty of time to get there after work Friday, you know, you can >> come Saturday morning if you want. If you want to travel, >> sleep at our house and then we have >> Yeah. And if you're coming from the e even coming from the east coast, you got the time difference.
5:41I mean, you leave on a 9 a.m. flight, you're here by noon. >> It's a three hour three hour net difference. Yeah. >> What if the three of us slept like the old people in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in one bed, one big wide in the head. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> Oh god. If we ever do another dock, that that we got to do a shot of that.
5:58>> Um, all right guys, my guest. You're going to love this person. >> Okay. Well, we'll see. >> You already do. You already do because she's very close to us. my guest today. She spent 12 years taking piano lessons. She says she hated every minute of it. Her mother's work kept the family moving back and forth between Virginia and Europe.

Introducing Sandra Bullock

6:13She left college three credits short of graduating and waited tables in New York before eventually took her before her >> dreams took her west. [laughter] Whoa. And came back. >> Wait, is it Cindy? Wait. >> Oh, yes it is. I got the laugh. I got the laugh. There it is. Sh. Wait, this is the best line.
6:35She once shared her home with two rescue dogs who had five legs between them. [laughter] >> It's definitely Sandy. I think she's still got the one. It's Sandra. I love her. Here, [laughter] >> Sandra. Take my own life. [laughter] >> I heard the laugh. I'm here. I'm here. >> That's Sandy laughing. >> That was the worst intro ever.
6:59[laughter] >> Sandy, >> do you guys Here's my question. I was listening to you guys converse. Do you guys really Is this how you guys speak to and with each other when no one else is listening? Are these the subjects that you guys cover? Like >> milk, fat, content, things like that? >> Just that bad.
7:14And somehow we thought this might be uh worth monetizing. >> Yeah. >> Oh, is that what you're doing? You're sort of putting something out there so you get Well, Sean Sean's the only one who drinks the milk in this group, so you'll get the free cases. >> Organic, right? You prefer organic. >> Well, yeah.
7:29I don't want What's non-organic look like? I mean, talk to me about that. Nobody >> doesn't have the smell. >> Yeah. >> Shnie, do you do your Do you do your own grocery shopping? >> Sometimes. I hate I don't like grocery shopping. >> Do you order online or do you go? >> No, I go I don't like grocery shopping, stopping for gas or um doing the dishes.
7:47>> Oh, so you mean being a normal person? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> You like to have staff doing all those things? >> I like private laundry. I like jewels. [laughter]
7:59>> I like gold bars. [laughter] Okay. >> Relatable. [laughter] >> But I have >> He's honest. He's honest. He's not trying to be humble. >> Right. Well, that's why I got an electric car so I don't have to stop for gas anymore. >> Now, Sandy, you something that's always impressed me about you is that you're a great big huge ass star and but you you get out there with the people.
8:19You don't always you don't care. Um you >> when you say I don't care what to say. >> Well, you don't care about being stopped. >> You don't care how you looked. I don't care how you [laughter] >> about about engaging with the public and people saying, "Hi, I I love you." >> What do you do? Are you standoffish?
8:37>> No, no, no, no. But I mean, we we we we know people mutually that I think have have are are every bit as famous as you, but feel like they might not be able to get out there and into it. Um, I mean, I can think of people that I know that they don't feel it might be safety. >> Well, but you've had your brushes with things that are unsafe, yet you still They seem to come to my house.
8:59So, it's my house. That's insane. >> Um, Sandra Bulock, where are you right now? >> Hi, Cutie Patuti. I'm in Jackson Hall, Wyoming. >> Oh, you are. So pretty there. I love it. >> It's so great. The kids are on the water. They're fishing this morning. >> A I love that. Um, last year, by the way, I listened to the your previous episode that you did for us and uh years ago.
9:21>> What did we talk about? >> I know. So we Well, I >> I was not I was not mentally there during that show, so I don't even know what >> 5 years ago. >> Was that >> Can you believe that? Yes. >> So it was like one of our first what 50 episodes probably. >> Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Why was your head not there?
9:35I forget. Sandy, did you >> Cuz it was the whole Bryant thing. The whole We were >> Yeah, I was going to get there and and I had this whole >> I don't remember anything. >> And we were and we were coinging too, weren't we? Somewhere probably, right? >> Yeah. You talk about isolated >> now. Do you Well, I'm going to jump ahead.
9:54>> First of all, hold before you go too far. Is that a legit shelf stock behind you or is that just for camera? It's cuz it's fabulously stocked. >> Well, it's it's a it's a mess. It's just like >> No, but it's it feels very curated. A nice mess. Nice. >> Well, I got little Grou right there. >> I see that in a nice It looks like Sarah.
10:12It looks like Sarah Pollson. Now, it is >> Sarah Pson and the Emmy on the other side. >> This is from Adam Driver. This [clears throat] is I don't know what that is. >> That's an Emmy. Oh, that's an Emmy. >> This is This is a print. >> Any faxes coming through? Any faxes coming through right [laughter] now?
10:25You want to check the fact? >> Oh, wait. But I think you've corrected. You've corrected us before. That is only one of your Emmys. >> This is correct. They're all over. Like I I can't pan. >> What do you know? Have you forgotten how many Emmys you have? >> How many do you have? >> I I can't. >> We don't have enough time.
10:41>> Oh god. It's just incredible for you. But you know, the sad part is nobody knows who won anything ever. Okay, so they know what you were. [laughter] I was going to wait, Sandy, but I'm going to go back and get everything else. But let's get into practical magic, too, because I just saw it because Sy's a friend and I got a link and I got a little secret something >> and it was I [ __ ] loved it.

Practical Magic 2 and Its Fans

11:04>> Did you really? You're not just saying that? >> No. Are you kid? Well, first of all, I'm the biggest nerd. I like fantasy, sci-fi, you know, that kind of stuff. Harry Potter. >> I can tell when Sean's lying. He's not lying. >> No, I love I loved it so much. And I loved your performance, Nicole, Diane Whuis, um, Stalker Channing.
11:19Yeah. All the kids want to rewatch the first one. >> Joey and Maisy. Yeah. >> So, good. >> Do you recommend re-watching the first one before the second one? >> Yeah. Well, you don't have to. You don't have to. But there there are some callbacks. There definitely some callbacks, but if you've never seen the first, you don't you don't you can pick up.
11:38>> And the first one was like, you know, it it wasn't like a massive gigantic hit, but then it became one >> later. It was became this like thing. Yeah. And so it made sense to do the sequel because I was like, "Oh, it's really cool." I loved it so much and I love >> How long did How long did you guys wait in between each one?
11:54>> I mean, a couple decades. >> Yeah. >> Wow. Awesome. >> I mean, the the when the first one came out, we were eviscerated. We were by the critics. It was [laughter] >> how many women do you need in a film? You know, how many tones do you need in a film? Comedy and drama and magic. And like it it was it was a slight >> I found myself like crouching down.
12:12By the end of the junket, you could just see I was like this a C-shape and then you just go, "Okay, that was we thought we were doing something >> really original and meaningful and and not until like I'd say >> and it turns out you did. >> We we did, but it for for the audience to find it, we needed social media >> so they could find each other and all of a sudden through social media, everyone >> found each other.
12:40And then generation after generation, like you know, my generation grew up and then had children and they watched it with their mothers and the grandmothers with their kids. Like there are kids that are >> 10 going, "Oh my god, it's my favorite movie cuz I watched it with my mom and my grandmother and it's like we don't get a lot of multigenerational things like that."
12:59So that was a surprise to me and all of us, I think. >> And last year you said you last year you were um you were telling you had to tell everybody that a every Sander Bulock Instagram account was fake. You had to let go. No, that's fake. And then 14 months later, you graced us with your presence on Instagram, which is super fun for people like me that's friend of yours and everybody else to see what's up.
13:18And it's a great it's a great tool. And it's >> So only 14 months ago, uh, did you start Instagram? >> No, like a few months ago, I started Instagram. But like about about a year and a half ago, I had to because there were people that were using my name and likeness to to to scam money out of people saying like my sister would have people reaching out to her saying your sister took thousands of dollars from me.
13:41I'm I'm my bags are packed. I'm meeting her. Like and it it the harm that it was causing families going we don't know how to not tell this person it's fake, you know. And I would have people call them say it's fake. It's not real. So finally, you know, I had no intention of ever going on social media.
13:58Like it's not it wasn't my >> my calling. Um and then once I did that, um it it stopped a little bit, but it it doesn't really I mean there's just it's just never ending. >> Yeah, I know. the the stuff that you've had to deal with and and and handle and come out the other side and you're just I mean I don't know how much we're going to get into on this one, but I I just it's just so your your spirit is just so commendable and um I just I love I love being close to you.
14:29>> Yeah, you're one of the strongest humans I know. Yeah. Not even men or woman. You're just one of the strongest humans I've ever known. And and you know, going back to the movie, >> thank you. I think. Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] What's that? >> I said, "Thank you." I think. >> Yeah. >> It's the biceps mostly.
14:47>> Is it? Is it? I'm working on it. I kind of let myself go the past six months in front of a computer with this film and I was like, "What has happened to my [laughter] >> No, no, no. But I remember you being out in London the same time I was doing Good Nio. we were shooting Practical Magic 2 and you came over, we had dinner and it's cool to have seen you in London and now then see the movie to see all the work that you've done and all the great work and um and it's shot beautifully.

Bryan's Illness and Caregiving

15:10Anyway, just can't go on enough about it, but I love the whole idea at the center of the movie that the Owens women have this curse where uh it's a great like rule or whatever where falling in love can mean losing the person they love, right? >> It's a great metaphor for a lot of things. >> A lot of things.
15:25And so I don't want to give anything away, but one of my favorite lines in the movie that you say is you say, "I'm so happy you're free to love now. Free to love exactly the way you want." >> Way you want. And that notice that I lean towards Maisie when I say that. >> Yes. I love that. And that made me think about something you and I talked about before you came on.
15:42You told me you're ready to talk a little bit about Brian. And I know some of the story and some of it I >> I'm feel safe to talk to you guys about. >> Yeah. Because it's just us. No one's listen. It's just no one else. But it's it's it's it's safety. >> Yes. Very true. And and as it relates to everything we were just talking about and Jason was talking about, >> can you tell me a little bit about that relationship?
16:02What became difficult toward the end of both the relationship and sadly Brian's life and how you reconcile those difficult parts with loving someone so deeply. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a very deep and great question. Um >> Yeah. And and please don't feel feel free to say as as much or as little as whatever appreciate being open to it.
16:25>> The the way I look at it and it's not so much looking at it is I know that this is you know there's a reason for everything sometimes there's not it's just horrible. Um but what I where I sit now what I have now I would not have to share had I not gone through that. um I would not ever want to go through it again though you never know life you know is like life is it's tricky >> um but >> I wasn't allowed to speak about it um that was the request and I tried I I honored it
17:02>> um which >> his illness >> yes he he asked me not to share and and I I I have my >> I know why he asked me not and it it it isolated me in the process and plus the entire world was um locked in with a pandemic. It was literally like the the final diagnosis even though I mean he was ill for half of our relationship.
17:22Um and the diagnos came almost at the same time with the cloak of the pandemic. So as the pandemic came down and I have a child with severe asthma. I was panicking and then we were trying to navigate all the tests because with amotrophic lateral sclerosis you or amiotrophic lateral sclerosis people waver on how they want to say it.
17:46Um which is a neurological disease where your signals just stop. >> The acronym commonly known as ALS. >> ALS. Yeah. Lucaric's disease. Yeah. um you you don't go oh you have these symptoms you have ALS it is literally like the process of elimination over the course of a year and some where you keep going back and they give you all these milestones these things to do these grips these these breath tests all these things what's happening because ALS appears in different um in different
18:16ways >> um it his was not hereditary which is I think a huge sigh of relief um But it it was about a year and some of watching it to see what it is. It could have been this, could have been this. But what I saw, I knew. >> I knew it. And you have to quietly plan. And I'm a very good planner with illness.
18:39And and because my father was ill and he was had horrible accidents and my mother had cancer, I feel like I'm very comfortable in a setting where somebody is is is ill. I it doesn't scare me. um not the illness itself, it doesn't scare me. Um I I can see and and be around just about anything, but I had two young kids um that were navigating it, especially a little girl who who saw him as a father figure.
19:05>> Um so with COVID and all of that and being asked not to talk and I wasn't even allowed to tell Amanda. I wasn't allowed to tell anybody. My sister was the only one who knew for for a while >> and I and and at first I go, "Oh, I can handle that. I can be quiet." But it really >> it's it's >> it's it's it not having the help outside of like Merrick Kudkowitch who was who is the head of Mass General over in Boston.
19:32She oversees all the trial drugs. I was able to find someone to find a if he could get on the list of the trial drugs and and we thankfully the privilege that I have is we got there um to at least be of service >> in in this process because the outcome is final >> one day it won't be final. Um, there are some who are living with ALS still.
19:52Um, that I've only now discovered after Brian's passing because I didn't dare go on, you know, my Finina and and look at, you know, I I was so scared that I would get in trouble for speaking, you know, cuz someone will say something cuz it's because of my c job. It's kind of like Sally Owens. I have a curse.

Isolation, Secrecy, and Support

20:11I walk with this curse that knowledge is payment for somebody. It is information that is valuable. And so I that's why I keep very isolated um because I don't want to harm others because of >> what I do. So I think >> not talking for a while was good. And and then when the physical illness was then coupled with the mental health aspect of things.
20:38Um, and it's something that people don't talk about and it doesn't happen to everybody, but it was a trifecta that was >> um, [clears throat] pretty dark >> and and I had incredible nurses like the guys that were like there like four big brothers in my kitchen every morning. I knew what they ate. I knew they all like banana bread.
20:58I knew their allergies or likes or dislikes, you know, >> and we [clears throat] became students at the same time, you know, while trying to keep the kids >> away from it or not away depending on whatever they wanted. And I had an amazing child therapist who dealt with um uh terminal illnesses to sort of help guide me with each both my kids are very different.
21:18>> But the the kids were aware to a certain right. >> Oh, completely aware. absolutely aware because eventually once once uh there is a situation where you're bedridden. Um you know it's it's we all have to go there. It's it's like it was in my house and I I did my best to set up um whatever I could and I am lucky in that I had the means to pay for it, you know.
21:40>> Yeah. We'll be right back. And back to the show. Sandy, what were those conversations like, if I might? And again, to the the extent that you're comfortable. >> Yeah. >> What were those conversations like with the kids uh when you first sort of say, "Hey, this is what's going on." And and how did how did you prepare yourself to approach to approach them?
22:06>> Well, they could see they have eyes and and they are very very astute kids. >> Very astute because they not only see the physical change, there's a behavior that changes in all of us. You know, I'm hyper vigilant. I became manic like in in my vigilance because I had to not only make sure he was okay.
22:25I had to make sure we could keep the nurses because anyone who's had the privilege of having inhome care knows that the cycle of nurses and I found them during a pandemic and I found four men that were strong enough because Brian is 6'2, >> 220. >> Um, and it that is an anomaly. I don't know how I I reached out to one doctor that I knew and I begged her.
22:48I said, "Please do not tell anybody, but I need help in finding this. Don't tell them I'm looking. Don't you know, it was the most covert CIA operation known to man." And I and I I got very like we you do lose nurses, especially during a pandemic. And the understanding that I now have of caregiving um for those who are in the caregiving position, they are left alone.
23:17>> I I had I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know who to call. Then there's pain management. >> You need to do it all on your own. >> Yeah. Because the caregivers need care themselves. Yeah. >> Absolutely. And and and I am so grateful to them. And but there is the the the toll of mental health.

Talking to the Kids About It

23:35It was both for me and absolutely for Brian and mo most importantly the kids. And so when I would bring things up to them, back to your question, Will, >> it was when they asked and when I could see them see it and ask them what it is that they want to do in this situation. How do you want to handle what you just saw or where you are here?
23:56And Louisie handled it very different than Laya. um about 2 years before Brian passed, it it was he saw it was a dynamic that wasn't healthy for him to be around. So, he's very evolved. He's like, you know what, I'm here for you. I'm here for, you know, he's sort of I didn't want him to become the man of the family at the age.
24:18That's not my job is to be both at that time. >> And I want him to be a kid during a pandemic when everything is already [ __ ] anyway and people are suffering everywhere. So me asking for help, it already I felt the guilt cuz everyone else was already suffering. Um but he he chose to just sort of be there in support and help me on the things that were easy for him.
24:37But he smartly disengaged himself and said, "This is a safer space for me to sit." And I said, "Absolutely, you go. I got this." >> Um Llaya, on the other hand, was more bonded until about 6 months out. And then she says, "I I can you please say no when they call me over to go visit?" And I said, "Absolutely."
24:56And I said, "But if you do want to go visit, I will come with you and I will be right there. And if you tap out, I am right there." >> So h how did the kids avoid >> the situation living in the house? Like how do you >> I I the way that my house is, I was able to sort of wall off a whole section and make it a different entrance where it had an outside garden and all these kind of things where because I wouldn't let anyone in and out of the house without severe COVID tests.
25:22There was a whole no none no family was allowed to come unless you are >> over at at the you know the the hotel for 2 weeks cuz that's when it was it was the two week thing for the long time and just to make sure everyone was clean because I didn't want I mean a respiratory you know illness would have would have taken them out.
25:42I mean to add to add that on top of this, you know, what you're dealing with already in and of itself, the pressure and all of that stuff and the kids and trying to manage all that and and Brian, etc. And then to add that unknown and of course none of us really knew what that was when it was happening at the time and everybody's now we sort of look back and we're all Monday morning.
26:03>> Well, that makes sense why she was gray. [laughter] >> Like I would look at my skin I'm like I am now gray. >> [laughter] >> No, no, but but I mean that that is that is you're you're juggling so many big ticket items at once emotionally >> that that you know the the idea that you on top of all of that >> that you're duty bound to not express the the the pressure that you're under and to not be able to have an outlet for that whether it's your good girlfriends like Amanda or whomever and go
26:38>> hey this is what could just sharing that with another human being relieves some of that weight with somebody who loves you. >> And I I just didn't want to get them in trouble cuz I I didn't I just felt there was this black shroud over me going if if my curse, which is the minute I say something about this, I don't want anyone else to be blamed for something if they didn't, you know, they wouldn't have said a word.
27:02They didn't end up saying a word once I did. I remember where I was like we we had shot Lost City. >> Love that movie. >> It was supposed It was fun, wasn't it? Great. >> I love that movie. One of the funniest things. >> Joy in a sparkly jumpsuit, you know, and the hysterical chanting and Brad doing us the favor.
27:19It was >> and you pulling the leeches off his ass on the second day. >> Oh my god. First day. >> I have no problem with that. >> Um did he [laughter] so game. He's so game. Um, but I remember we were editing um, and it it Ryan had already like it was it was already in a in a bad place and I was in this room upstairs and I had the monitor and we're editing and um, Amanda and Jen were and I don't know why we got on a call for something and I think if I look back on it I would say
27:52it was Amanda and Jen going we need to spearhead because we need her to start talking >> and we need to talk. I think Amanda had I I don't even remember anymore, but I remember they came on. It just makes me start crying. I saw their face in Jen's kitchen, you know, her little desk and her little kitchen behind her where we always all we all get our food.
28:09And I just saw them because they didn't really speak. They just got on. They're like, "Hi." And I could tell and I was just like, it was relief to go, I don't care what happens at this point. I need >> I need that. And it was >> it was amazing. And but I did panic once I did it because I was like and I and I said I hate that I'm having to say this but I have the fear of God in myself that if this gets out >> right >> I can't follow through this journey and take Brian to where I know he's going
28:39and where I know I can take him you know and help or help him and help him. >> So it was you know the most important thing were the kids period. >> What was the what was the what was the thing behind I mean again if I may and we can cut it. Why why was it so important that you that you were under this sort of this gag order, if you will, to to not say anything?
29:01>> That you'd have to ask Brian. But I think where he was in his journey both physically and mentally. I I started grieving Brian four years before he passed. >> Like something in my said, "Start the grieving now." Because I knew I would be the caregiver. Um, and I could see like the the bright eyes that I knew literally like you say you you know someone through their eyes and there was something that had shifted and I go it is a traumatic diagnosis.
29:31Anyone who can prevail through a diagnosis like that it I I bow down bow down um you know my mother had cancer. We always had hope. you always have hope that there's something, you know, um but I could see that there was a darkness and and mind you also, you know, he'd been sober for 14 years >> and you need medication >> and I'm like, I don't give a [ __ ] Give him what he needs.
29:55It's like the man is suffering. Give it. And so this selfish part of me, my person left a lot earlier than the body left, >> right? And I had to >> I don't think I ever dealt with that until after he passed because you're just on this treadmill, you know. I had to release a film at the same time and talk about gray.
30:16I saw myself on the red carpet. I was like, you just look at my face and I am I'm a wood block. I I >> Well, it's similar to Alzheimer's cuz I was saying my mom, you know, anybody suffering from being a caretaker with someone with Alzheimer's is they die twice. Just like you're saying, the physical the mental mental part goes and then the and then you mourn that so that you prepare yourself more when the physical goes.
30:40And uh yeah, it's it's very similar to those experiences. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, Sandy, I'm I don't I don't know if you were um uh aware of of any massive growth in yourself during all of this incredible challenge, but I I I'll bet you've had time to reflect on it now. Is it was there as I think you actually started saying this like you would you wouldn't have what you have today and I'm sure you were mentioning you you were meaning inner sort of strength and all this stuff had you not gone through

Growth, Resilience, and Learning

31:13the adversity you've gone through over the past few years >> um and beyond. Um but like what what what have you have you noticed that you've like become this superhero? Um like the things you can take on now I would imagine would be >> just like what what could you not what could you >> right >> anything with my kids you know what I mean it's like I I'm always a shoe's going to drop I'm not a look at the life through I'm going to >> you're not a pessimistic person you're like you're so consistently light and
31:47full of sunshine um you're always incredibly well prepared you're just like >> like if we were if we needed to mount a war and I had to pick one friend to who's going to be the general like so but but you were like but you were [laughter] like it's not me >> before before you're on top you're on top of [ __ ] >> you just you got by the way you remember Sandy used to drive Sandy used to drive by my house we lived on the same street until a couple until last year and then she text me and she goes are you ever
32:16going to water the plants on the upstairs [laughter] have this incredible house and there were these gorgeous window boxes in these dead brown ass vines hanging off the thing. I'm like, "Dude, >> you're leaving your house. Look up." When you pull back in after the school drop, that is ugly. [laughter] >> Like, Sandy, what what do you think?
32:39Like, what are are you are you are like, do you are you looking at the rest of your life as like, okay, I've got this inc I've got this incredible sports car, you know, at my disposal. What roads can I drive it on? And I'm sorry for the metaphor there, but um >> No, but [clears throat] we we all love cars.
32:55We all love cars. >> Yeah. >> No, you know what? That actually is a really great metaphor because >> I I am oddly a very fear fearful person. >> I I am and I think that's probably, you know, why you all why you all chose comedy is because it's a great leveler. >> It makes comfort in your space in an unknown space very quickly.
33:15And if you go if I >> if I make people feel comfortable at my expense, I I'm, you know, I can get the lay of the land. >> Yeah. >> That's what almost relaxes you. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> and um so so the the thing with my journey with Bry is that I, you know, I didn't stop feeling guilt for my for as as a mother with my kids until I'd say about a year ago.
33:43oddly like there was things that I didn't process. I didn't I >> guilt because you didn't think you were there enough for them >> because it happened because it happened. And and then someone said to me, you know, if you believe children choose you, they also choose this journey. This this journey is for them as well.
33:58And I went, okay, thank thank you. Thank you. That that sort of took a little weight off my shoulders, but you as a mom, you go, I'm I'm sorry that this happened. You know, and he had his family. >> Yeah. Just think about how much can be put in front of them now with with arguably the their entire lives in front of them.
34:18That is not going to knock them off balance. >> You guys have gotten really good at this. You guys are like really grown up now. >> Well, it's true. And they can and you Yeah, cuz you can kind of go two ways with it because I think that there is and we live in a world now where we were able to talk about stuff and maybe a generation ago or more things would happen that would be traumatic and and you don't deal with it.
34:39you don't talk about it and then that trauma sort of surfaces in other ways. But we live in a world now and I know the way that you are and talking about talking to your kids and being open. You you give them such a better chance to for this to become their superpower. >> That's right. And if you if you weren't I grew up with a very strong mom and because of all my trauma and all the [ __ ] that I grew up with, if I didn't have a strong mom, I wouldn't have been I wouldn't have learned how to
35:04navigate life. And because you are such a strong mother, if you weren't as strong as you were, Laya and Louie, you know, may have gone a different direction, but they are steadfast, like they're on the right path because of you. >> They They know who they are. They That's That's a great because I look at my kids and I go, "We had dinner last night with three of Louis friends and they're we were just talking and I go, he knows himself so well."
35:28Cuz I said, "What what is everyone grateful for?" And he says, >> "Just to be alive. just to have this life. Wow. And I went, >> you go, >> "Oh my god." You know, and Laya's fearless >> in being who they know themselves to be versus their mom who's only come to that, I'd say, in the last year and a half, two years, just sort of now I can stop in life and I now look back and I go, "Wow, look at all the [ __ ] that happened."
35:56>> Yeah. But think about all the things that they've been able to observe you handle. Cuz I I mean I I think you know as as as good a parents as we try to be and the things we try to say that are smart. It really is so much about example. They really pick up so much from just watching. Think about the stuff they've seen you go through.
36:12Yeah. The way you've handled it. You both are. But they're so, as Jason said, they're so lucky to see you go through it and to be again to be open and set that example that's going to just help them to to grow even more as people and become great people. And I isn't it interesting at this age like to continue to feel like I was saying to somebody the other day, I I feel even more now than ever, I feel like I'm just firmly in the student section.
36:40>> I am just [clears throat] learning. >> It's like I'm just learning. >> [ __ ] It's [ __ ] crazy. I don't know anything. I said the other day, I'm I'm a recovering know-it-all. >> And [laughter] it's it's that's you were you were, but now you're not. No, >> thank you. >> My sister for my birthday gave me this beautiful little Peter box and it said Leonardo da Vinci, a quote by him at like 87.
37:00He says, "I'm still learning." And I went and that's why I think I'm glad you said that because I I have just such happiness in my chest. Yeah. Other things can frustrate me. Things can upset me. I get pissed off. I get petty, but there's a I'm so happy and I feel like I'm a kid for the first time in my life as I'm seeing things that I've seen a million times before, but now I see them with such like like a a love that I was didn't have before.
37:32>> Um, and it's it's just I you know, yes, I have a great therapist. Yes, my I I think I did the right thing with the kids. Yes, I did usher Brian out the way a human being deserves to be ushered out. And I I didn't take care of myself then, but I so take care of myself now. There was a moment when I just wasn't feeling great.
37:52I'd gotten co after we did the the press junk and I was like, "Oh [ __ ] what am I going to do?" So I'm in a room above the nurses where they are and I'm bubble wrapping myself and running because I still had to cook dinner for the nurses, >> you know? a sudden made all the kids go away and I'm bubble wrapped and I'm you know in room service and and then I just didn't feel right afterwards and I was like you know as a woman I'm like something is wrong and I said oh my god if all this dress gave me like cancer
38:19I'm going to be that's when I'm going to get mad not anything else is that I'm going to be pissed if I've made myself sick and I remember being at the doctor going she sees me coming all amped up and wrapped in bubble wrap you know um and I said if I'm okay I swear to God she goes you'll take care of yourself now.
38:35And I said, "Yes, >> I swear to God, I will." And when she she called me up, she goes, "You're fine." And I was like, "New lease on life." You know, and and it was >> seeing your own body breakdown sort of >> was the the the big messenger. >> Yeah. And you like you got like a second chance. >> Yeah. Totally.
38:52Totally. >> Oh, that's so great. >> We'll be right back. And now back to the show. You know, Sandy, it's so funny that you started, but early on you were saying that, you know, oh yeah, everything happens for a reason and sometimes it doesn't and stuff, but but if you think about it, even just now hearing you say all that, the the sort of the flip side of of of this really tragic uh uh time in in your life and obviously in Brian's life and his passing, all that stuff.
39:25The flip side of it is again what we talked about the the growth and the universe it turns out didn't serve you more than you could handle. It never does. [clears throat] You focus you did all the right stuff. You did it the right way. You honored him. You stay connected to the kids and helped them navigate through it.
39:43>> Think about how great that is. And now as you sit here and you say you're so happy and you can see it, Sandy, you are a different person. It's incredible. [clears throat] And and so in a way it does happen for a reason, you know. >> Well, that that reasoning happened for me for my growth, you know.
40:00Um Yeah. Yes. Absolutely. And I mean I do see the bigger reason in all of this is that I had all this information that no one was able to give to me for the caregiver. >> And it's like apparatuses, tricks. How do you get a wheelchair up and downstairs? Oh my god, Amazon. You like say what you want about Amazon.
40:20Amazon saved my life. And and because I had to quietly do it >> and and the office was like, "Why are you ordering ramps?" "Oh, the kids want something to go up and down the stair." You know, like >> the lies that I told, but >> Will has Will Will Will has ordered so many stuff secret off of Amazon. It's crazy.
40:38>> They come in a little brown pecking. >> Oddly, a lot of ramps. [laughter] Remember we we used to go by drive by LA Bezos's house, which wasn't too far around the corner. Very different situation. And I'd see the Amazon trucks parked in front. >> You're like, "How? Why?" Well, [laughter] I also want to go to the driver like, "Hey man, handle this one with care, bro.
40:56>> Really carefully. You know who lives here." [laughter] >> Um, well, Sandy, how does um, you know, most of us got to know you before we got to know you uh, through what you do on screen and and how nice. >> Yeah, here I come. Um, how [laughter] >> the release date on >> practical magnitude >> bringing this full circle.
41:16Can we can we also talk about first before since we were talking about kids how fabulous Jason's kids are like I I feel like if there's a child missing >> I I took them >> to I got I got Franny's here in Iceland with me completing the uh >> yeah she's been she's been with me for the whole shoot um and now we're finishing up together.
41:34It's great. Um and Maple >> and Maple Mapes is with uh with with Yeah. That's so great. Yeah. So so cool. We're going to see >> Maple and LA have grown up together and the in the things that they have done. Oh my god, they are but but um >> you had a fan question, Jason. >> Yeah, she was trying to deflect.
41:54I'm going to bring it back to her. Um >> where does where does that incredible other part of you that we haven't even talked about yet? Um this incredible presence on screen, where where does that what role does that play for you, no pun intended, in your life now? Um what do you mean? Well, I Yeah. What work represented before a lot of these challenges uh was probably one thing.
42:23And does it does it play a different role for you now and and going forward as far as the challenge that it presents you, the release it presents you, the family it presents you, any of those things. >> Um you don't need to to stack them all and and and order them all. But when you what's the first thing you think about now when you think about doing what you love to do?
42:43Um >> I mean yeah I mean you're right it is chapters you know when when I didn't have kids it was like three four films a year and I was just so happy to work. You're a working actor. It's like I'll take it. I'll fix it. I'll I'll I'll try and you know >> make lemonade um with some of them and other ones were surprise you know benefits and successes and and >> and then I started producing and then I felt I had more control over the narrative or just the quality going if it's going to fail it's going to fail
43:09because I failed >> not because I had no control. Um >> and then uh then I had kids and everything shifted everything stopped. You know, I don't look at my career as I mean, I wasn't supposed to work this long. You know, every penny that I had went into real estate. I was like, well, I'm good at this.
43:27I can restore and lease it out and then I'll have something to do. And that's why I obsessively just put every penny into >> a structure that I could restore, bring, you know, bring to life and um >> and then the kiddies came and then they are my life and work is second and that's period. And because it's just me, I've always been a single parent, right?
43:47you know. Um, and then when Brian got sick that, you know, after lossy, I was like, I can't I thought I was going to have a little bit of a a mental issue. I was like, I can't I can't I can't I mean, the last what was a funny but not so funny was the very last shot of our film in Lost City. We had we couldn't shoot when we were in the DR and we had to re-shoot like a couple months later on.
44:08And I came home and I was just full-on lifting caret you know all the things that you do and I came for the re-shoot on a couple hours of sleep and I remember walking in and everyone went >> what what are what's did you not sleep? Like I looked so bad and when I say so bad like my face it was horrific and I could maybe manage four hours of the re-shoot and they were like can you just give us one?
44:33And I was like, I I can't. I can't. I got to go home. I got to go home. >> And I went home. >> The amount of money that they had to spend to fix my face to match the rest [laughter] of the film >> digitally. I looked, it was a horror show. And I have good friends that are in the hair and makeup department.
44:47They're like, >> "Okay, okay. Can't can't there's not enough putty to spackle that thing." [laughter] >> Um, so I did that and then I just pulled the plug. I said, "I can't anymore. I I have nothing to give right now. Nothing. Zero." Um, >> right. Then you turned to practical magic was right was was the next big big thing that you took on and and took on a lot of it.
45:08You you could have you could have >> narrowed your scope of work on that if if you wanted to. >> I'm not able to narrow my scope. That's really the truth. I can't >> Well, that I mean like you're so good at taking on a ton and uh you succeed at everything that you you you take on. Um, so, so but but I mean that that's kind of why like I'll ask the question in a different way like what are you looking forward to doing next workwise and >> I want to do funny.
45:37I want to do something that like >> that goes back to a time where you can tell a story >> and let humor be the thing. Like they used to make films like that. Like it they had paos and humor and fun and weren't slapsticky. Like I can't do that. I I'm good in between a rock and a hard place. Like I want life to be >> tricky because it is.
46:00Life has 17 different tones in the course of 24 hours. I've been witness to it. >> Um >> and the humor comes from the challenges that the characters go through as opposed to the jokes that they say. >> Yes. >> Yes. It's like I mean what if you if I watch back the things that would happen during the course of the day even with Brian I'm like the sweetest moment was I there was this beautiful trainer that I'd hired for the kids just to be there in the PE you during during homeschooling in the backyard and he was
46:28so buff and fabulous and then I went I should probably do something I should probably move and he's like okay so we'd be outside masked 90°ree weather you know doing exercises and he finally said you know what I just want you to lie down on the sports court for a second I'm just going to play some wave noises and some, you know, >> whale whale noises, you know.
46:45And I said, "Okay, okay." He goes, "Just just lay down for a second cuz I was really manic." >> Yeah. >> And so I laid down. He goes, "I'm just, you know," and then all of a sudden my phone rang and I sit up because when my phone rang, that means I had to run to that room over there and help the nurses with something.
47:02And I got up so full of rage. And I went, I just want 5 minutes to sleep. And then I ran into the house, fixed the lunch, fixed whatever it was they got, whatever the medical device was, gave it to them and run back to the sports court and I laid back down and I go, "Okay, I'm going to do it." He goes, "We're done."
47:17I go, "No, no, no, please, please, just give me" I said, "It was only 5 minutes." He goes, "You have been asleep for 45 minutes." He goes, "I had to go up and see if you were still breathing. I thought [laughter] you I had just passed out." And I go, the fact that he gave me this little safe space to pass out on a sports court with my little mask in 90 degrees, you know, >> and it's like if you can, it's like we can figure it out.
47:40It's it's there's nice people out there. And he didn't know what was going on either. He just knew that the mom to these kids was dealing with something, right? >> But he gave me grace to just he knew I was unraveling and he was like, "This this lady needs some help." Um, speak. Yes. I want to We're running out of time and I just want to make sure you can leave us in a >> in a joyous.
48:04These poor people are going to be like, "This is a depressing show." >> No, no, no, no. Let's just chew it up cuz this is this is no no no but but but this I wrote down and I wanted to make sure we got to cuz the chickens you have you named them after female comedians except >> comedians like we have Whoopy Goldberg and we have the Golden Girls and >> but you so one's named Carol Bernett, one's name's Wanda Sykes, another's name is >> Phyllis Diller.
48:27Yeah, but she was a rooster originally. Yes. Phil Diller. >> Yeah, you named Phil Der to Phil Diller. But he was all Phyllis. Phil, >> I should have just kept it Phyllis because he was he was proud. >> He was assassinated. >> He was proud. He got that white hair. He was Oh, he was he was Yeah, he was fresh.
48:45>> And then >> not fresh as in I ate him. I didn't [laughter] eat him. >> But then talk about these dogs like that I said in the opening which made me laugh. You had two rescue dogs, Poppy and Ruby. Poppy had three legs. >> Poppy was my ride or die. Yeah, they say they're soul dogs. She was she was a three-legged Chihuahua mix of some kind.
49:04Um, she was the greatest humanlike animal. Like she she was my protector. Like if I had an issue, she would go after somebody to like she was. And then there was Rubetella Versace. She walked on her hind legs and she always looked like she was working the runway. >> She only had two legs. >> Two legs.
49:20She was on her legs. >> I love because life wasn't hard enough. Let me take care of these two dogs who need >> And I had them for 14 years. >> That's unbelievable. [laughter] >> Yeah. But you know what? >> Here's what you need. you need a nice four-legged golden retriever and a sitcom, >> you know. Well, you know what?
49:34That's what the kids asked for once the dogs died. They said, "Can we get a dog that chases a ball?" And I'm like, "Sure." [laughter] And then I get I rescue this poodle who'd been part of a um a puppy mill for like 3 years. They shoved spoons down her throat to collapse her vocal cord. She had all kinds of emotional issues.
49:50Couldn't care less about a ball. Couldn't care less. You like, "She's my dog." And then I was like, "Okay, well, she's got my dogs have to have an an impediment. You know, there's it can't we just can't have a straightforward, really simple, loving, good listening dog." And then, right, >> there was a dog that was rehomed and he was about 10 months old.
50:07And I go, "Anything wrong with him?" And they was like, "Well, he's got four legs. He loves a ball." And I go, "Okay, I'll give this to the kids. It'll be like nothing's wrong. Dog, kids ball." Turns out he's blind close up. [laughter] So, we throw the ball, he'll run to it, and then he'll leap right over it and keep going.
50:23So he's >> farsided. >> Yeah. Yeah, he's farsided. >> Get him some glasses. [laughter] >> Yeah. They I took him to a doggy opthalmologist and they said we can outfit him with goggles. I'm like, "Oh, hell no. [laughter] You're not. He's so handsome, but his eyes are just a little closed." And can you imagine the goggles?
50:39No. >> That's such a I I can't be seen in public with that. I just That's just No. Let him be blind. >> How does he How does he do How does he do the the eye test? Like when they're like, "Read the fourth line. Better one, [laughter] better two, better two, better three. >> Looking at the [laughter] thing.
51:00>> You had several You had several tests. Yes. [laughter] Yes. Yes. >> All right. A or B? B. Okay. Now, Bet. [laughter] Better. Worse. Worse. Better. >> Can you read the sentence? >> Sandy Sandra Bulock. Um, we love you. Thank you for sharing all of that with us. >> Nice to have a conversation with you that's not around food.
51:19I mean, it's weird, >> right? It's weird. >> But truly, I mean this. I I I we love you. I love you so very much so much. And thank you for being so open and sharing everything. >> Always. You know what? It's like the one thing that does come out of this is that you get information that you can give to other people that wouldn't have access to it.
51:37So, I've had >> a good amount of people that I've met that said, you know, my my my mother has ALS. And I'm like, and I have the whole list of what to get during the and I can pass off the list. And it's it's just I have the list. >> I'm lucky because I have the list and there's people that need the list.
51:52So, >> you guys will never need it thankfully. But I if you know someone that needs it, I got it. >> I love that. >> You're on ours. Love you. God. >> Thank you guys. Thanks. Thanks from road adjacent. You from Emmy adjacent. You from >> Iceland adjacent. Give Give Francesca a big smooch for me. >> Well, I'll see you'll see her in a week with me.
52:13>> I'll see I'll see you guys when we see a good performance. We're going to see our girls perform. Nice. >> All right. Love you so much. Thanks for sharing and always bye you guys. Bye. >> See you soon. >> Love you. >> Wow. Well, I feel uplifted and um >> that's incredible. >> I mean, I I I I Why do I I I love it when I cry on this on this damn podcast.
52:44It's so joyful. But like even when I cry, it feels joyful. I I just She's just incredible. >> Well, like you said, you know, those are the times when it's dark and just awful. Those are the moments that life gives you to learn from and grow from, right? You don't know it in the moment, >> but later on, you know, it's it's it's such a gift in a way.
53:06It's horrible in the moment, but a gift later. and the people that have been so generous to share some of these things with us on this show like I was just thinking about Michael Lewis um that incredible story he told us and um and there there's there's been a few where I found myself getting weepy in such a joyful sort of setting as this is sometimes but um man I just I feel so lucky um to have her uh as a friend and to to hear her stories and to watch her go through what she
53:38goes through and she she could have another hour on another um really trying episode that she's been through in her life and then another hour and another hour and I mean to sound like you know woe is Sandy cuz um you know she's certainly had uh incredible fortune in her life as well but >> man the way she goes through this life um I I forget because she always does shower us with so much sunshine when we're around her >> we really forget like yeah the the the the feet are paddling like hell
54:12admirable really highlights that you never know what people are going through. >> Uh this is one of those things that you think about like when you go through the world and you say like somebody's cuts you off or they're being an [ __ ] And now as I get older I go I don't know what their day is like.
54:26I don't know what they're going through. I don't know what pressure they're under. I don't know where they're coming from. And and and and >> you can call me. I probably know. >> I know that you keep telling some people. Sure. But but as you say JB, >> next time I have questions about uh ma fat content in milk, I'm going to come to you.
54:44>> Yeah, you never know how much fat content problem. It's tricky for you. You know, >> call me. I mean, >> I probably know a lot. >> I think that probably when you're when you're sitting in front of the dairy aisle, Sean, and you're >> presented with the option of all these different milks, you probably you probably just don't know which one to >> to buy.
55:08>> [laughter] >> Smartless.

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